Saturday, April 01, 2006

Stoddard Online



Stoddard Online: I am certain by now all of North America, and perhaps, the whole world is aware of the location of the Gaspe' Peninsula in southeastern Quebec.

As well, by now I am certain that most folks have heard the news from that region. It is no longer a myth as to the existence of the legendary Sasquatch. Not only is it's existence confirmed, a whole colony of the great beasts have been discovered. Though the exact location of the colony is currently held under wraps, it is known to be in a remote section of the peninsula, away from human habitation.

The creatures are reported to be large, as tall as seven feet when standing erect, and covered with long dark brown and black hair. The face however, is bare and almost human like.

Known to scientists from several countries for the past year, it is reported to be a colony of gentle beasts, content with living a solitary life, free from the pressures of human existence. Within their colony, it is clear that a self-sustaining social framework is the key to their survival.

The visiting scientists report that these creatures have far more knowledge of mankind, than we of them. Though they communicate in their own language, it is clear they understand spoken human dialects. They respond equally well to commands in both English and French, which lends support to the fact of bilingualism within their social structure. Assuming that the Sasquatch thrives as well in other regions of the country, scientists are of the opinion that these creatures pick up on local languages from particular areas.

This is truly the breakthrough of the century, and Canadians should be proud to share our space. There will definitely be more to follow with reference to this momentous report.

Lew Stoddard
Posted To Web Site, 6:00 AM April 01, 2006

6:oo PM, April 01, 2006
By the way folks, sometimes from the day to day pressures of life, we need a bit of release from the norm. What I am saying is, a bit of a chuckle now and again is good for us all. The above article was written to provide just that, although, I must admit it was taken seriously in several circles, including the national media in both Canada and the United States. I received an e-mail from both asking me to share available information on the Sasquatch discoveries. I advised both by e-mail to check back with my web site, and thus, they are receiving my wish of a "Happy April Fool's Day" Again folks, was meant to be in fun only. The normal posting to the site will appear on schedule tomorrow, April 02, 2006.
Lew Stoddard

18 comments:

Mary T said...

This is so exciting. Have always wondered about the stories over the years, and actually, we always joked around the campfire. Might get scared now.

Mary T
Timmins, Ont

Darrin W said...

I figured all along there was something out there, will be good to see one finally.

Darrin Williams
Grade 12, Oshawa, Ont

Gerald T said...

have always said it cant be. believe it when i see it for myself but looks promiseing now

Gerald T
windsor, Nova scotia

D. McLure said...

Hey lew,
knowing humans, we will destroy its habitat in no time since we know it is there now, so sad about us dont you think?

D. McLure
Cornwall, Ontario

Will Landry said...

Lew Stoddard,
I am a seeing is believing type of guy but this puts a new edge on things because scientists wouldn't fib, would they?

Will Landry
North bay, Ontario

Mike C said...

Lew,

Always have believed in these creatures, but you know I always felt if they were truly there, the first confirmed sighting would come from British Columbia, but maybe this is good.

Mike Cassidy
Chilliwack, B. C.

C Britton said...

Lew,
Just sent you an e-mail. Pleas e-mail me the moment there is more information to be had about this.

C. Britton
Camrose, Alberta

Janice B said...

I was aleways so skeptical, you have gave us good news, exceot not good for poor sasquatch

Janice B

Sylvie said...

This is so great, and imagine these creatures being able to understand two languages, I am sooooooooooo excited over this, and it is my home province to.

Sylvie Grosmere
Drummondville, P.Q.

Ruby M said...

I will never question the existence of any creature again, because you just never know. They sound like such a friendly social group.

Ruby McBrine
Gaspe' PQ

Bud said...

Suddenly the Loch Ness monster takes on new meaning as well. Thank you Mr Stoddard for sharing this with everyone.

Bud Evers
Regina,Saskatchewan

David B said...

Congratulations Mr. Stoddard,

Go to the head of the class. I wanted to believe your story but must admit was skepital. You are a good comedian, we need humor. Enjoyed ther fun.

David Bowles
North Bay

Bill Mc said...

Hey Man,

you pulled our legs, but was funny anyhow. If American media was upset, well they will get over it. They need soomething other than war to talk about anyway.

Bill McQueen
Nanaimo, B. C.

Sylvie G said...

You fooled me, that was ok though, havent had such a good laugh for years. I sent you a message yesterday as well when you first reported this. Funny Guy. Keep up good work, we still love you.

Sylvie G
Drummondville, P Q

Tom Graton said...

Hey, we need more laughter in our lives. I fell for it, must admit, but you know what, the part about the bilingual thing my wife and I had a real hoot over that. She said imagine that, all these years and they get along with each other, maybe yopur article is a good example to people as to how it really should be.

Tom Gratton
Swift Current, Saskatchewan

Melanie S said...

Lew Stoddard,

Was mad at first this morning when I read your follow up, but after I drank a coffee or two, it suddenly started to get funny. Since that we had a good laugh about it, as a matter of fact I copied and printed your article to take to work tomorrow. Hope you don't mind.

Melanie Sawchuck
Churchill

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